Tabby's Luminescent Glam Boxes & How She Promotes Self-Love

My name is Tabby, and I'm a Cosmetologist. Lunar Tide Beauty was originally After Hours style, and I started up about three days after I got to Korea again. I'd always dabbled in hair styling and make up prior to our first stay here in Korea. I even moonlighted as a make up artist for a photo shoot or two. Really what sealed it was four years not really working. I couldn't stand it. I need to be doing things to keep myself sane. I went back to school in 2015. Cosmetology was a no brainer, I grew up in a beauty shop, my grandma was a Hairdresser and it just feels like home.

Day to Day Operations

My day to day currently is largely consultations via Facebook, working to create inventory, or working on a project for the Diversity and Inclusion section of the Red Cross, at least if I don't have scheduled clients. I can go from two or three haircuts or waxes to an all-day session of Unicorn/Mermaid hair or blonde AF.  I keep way busier than I anticipated at the beginning of the year, but it's great! The work I do is absolutely fulfilling, I adore making people feel beautiful. 

Luminescent Cosmetics

Which brought around Luminescent Cosmetics. I am huge into skincare, I love to try different things, but I'm also really interested in ingredients. More so after learning that a friend of mine who is a cancer-survivor can't use anything with a metal oxide in it. I had no idea how many mineral based products contained a metal oxide! Another friend revealed she's allergic to glycerin when I suggested a serum for her to use. Glycerin is in EVERYTHING just about and that narrows down the choices quite a bit. I always wanted to make my own line, why not? In the age of the Millennial we're all reverting back to craftsmanship and artisan type practices. Why shouldn't I do the same thing and provide something I would be proud to use to the people around me. So that was how I got out some text books, did some updated research on the best ingredients and came up with my launch products. 

The Glam Crates

I started these glam crates originally to sort of get myself out there, for people to know my name, and the products I use and sell. That's evolved since I actually really love giving gifts and the glam crates are perfect for me to curate and gift to their recipients. Beauty boxes are really popular, and for good reason: who wants to spend 500 dollars on products they may or may not use all of? I had a whole stash of unused unopened make up waiting for a home after a couple years of Ipsy, Sephora Play and other similar subscriptions. I ended up sending a lot of it to glambot.com or just giving it away. Because none of those services really get me and what I'm looking for, I often ended up disappointed and cancelling the subscription after about six months. 

Curated for the person

I make my boxes for each person who signs up. No two boxes are the same, and there isn't really a baseline other than the themed piece. Comfy meant find leggings and t-shirts that were soft and wearable in color schemes for each of the vibrant women who asked for one. This month means finding the right flower themed items for each individual, be they made or bought. I think what sets me apart from the majority of big name boxes and even some of the smaller boxes is I really want you to be happy with the box, not so you'll pay me for another one - but because I love the messages I get. The wow these all fit my aesthetic, or this is so fun, I had a great time trying out new things, or I found my new holy grail! That boosts my mood and fills my spirit. 

“Self-Care is being able to look at my habits and slowly start to chip away at the toxic ones.”

— Tabby

On the topic of self-care, as a person with Anxiety and Depression it's something I'm still learning to allow myself. As a high functioning depressive I often take on too much at once, over scheduling my weeks and grabbing onto new projects. Don't get me wrong, it's so fulfilling, but I am so mentally exhausted sometimes that it's startling. Self-Care is being able to look at my habits and slowly start to chip away at the toxic ones. Eat at home rather than eat high fat, high-carb fast-foods that leave me sluggish and more prone to depressive states. Take an hour and taking a hot bath with a book playing on my phone to recenter myself and let my brain just quiet down. It's so important, it's kept me from bottling up my emotions and having some needless knock down drag out fight over something insipid. 

My beauty routine

My personal daily beauty routine is simple, at least in my mind. If I've worn make up the day before, it's exfoliation day that morning, then a gentle wash, pat dry, grab the toner, swipe it on and let it dry down, serum to replenish the moisture I took from my skin with the exfoliant and wash, and seal it all down with moisturizer and sunscreen before I do anything else. If I'm adding a face on top of it, full or otherwise, primer first, I'm currently in love with No Poreblem from TouchInSol and Unicorn Essence from Farsali. I start with my brows, filling/shaping them and then clean them up with some concealer. If it's a quick look, swipe on my liner and mascara. Concealer blended out under my eyes, a lipstick and I'm good to go. Basically I frame my face. If you don't have brows and liner, for your eyes, they get lost, or easily over looked. Lips, obviously can either be your focal point or just highlighted gently to really finish a natural quick look. 

Get this must-have product if you can!

Must have product - especially out here where the Air Quality jumps - is a high quality serum. I highly recommend either The Ordinary Hyaluronic + B5 serum or my own creation which I call the red moon serum. Rice Water with High Molecular weight Hyaluronic Acid, Vitamin E, Liquid Silk, Aloe Vera Water and a light lavender scent. I want people to maximize hydration in their skin, it's a thing we're hardly ever told other than to drink water and moisturize, without being told moisturizers only lock in what's on your skin when you put it on! 

Note from Okami & Co.

  We connected with Tabby through a Facebook beauty group here in South Korea.  I noticed that someone had posted their personally curated box from Tabby, and was immediately interested when Tabby advertised, she was taking orders.  I didn’t hesitate at the chance to order one of these boxes, and to give someone else the gift of self-care as well.  You can find more of Tabby’s work below!

Instagram: www.instagram.com/lunartidebeauty
Instagram: www.instagram.com/luminescentcosmetics
Website: www.lunartidebeauty.com
Website: www.luminescentcosmetics.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/lunartidebeauty
Facebook: www.facebook.com/luminescentcosmetics

O&H Beauty Group Contest: Follow myself on Instagram @okamiandco, @stayaloha, @luminescentcosmetics, and @lunartidebeauty on Instagram. And comment with your reply to the question, “What is your beauty routine, and how does it help your mentality with self-love?”

In Uncertainty Comes Hardship, but in Hardships Comes Certainty

     My life as Kat began as a question, “who am I really?”  At such a young age, I never expected to find the answer would be that I was adopted and that my last name was not my own.  I had come to this realization after I found a videotape titled “Sergy” in a large antique cabinet in my living room.  I was not prepared for the content it contained.  It was a little boy with blonde hair and blue eyes, just like mine, begging the audience, “please take me to America to be with my sister Katya.”  I had discovered that I had another family somewhere else in the world that I knew nothing about.  As a result, my journey of becoming one with abandonment fears had begun.

     Over the course of a crucial few years, I asked my parents to tell me everything about this boy.  I was angry.  I was hurt.  But most of all, I felt betrayed as I learned the truth.  I was adopted from Domodedovo, Russia when I was 2 years old.  No other information about my biological family was given to me because my American adoptive parents did not know any.  They told me that Russia, at the time, had provided little to no information.  It wasn’t like the adoption system in the United States.  There were no pictures, no contact information, and no medical history.  At the time, Russia was different.  Poverty-stricken where most people were unable to take care of their own children.

  I did not believe my American parents.  In my mind, I didn’t even know who my parents were or what they looked like.  I wanted to know where certain personality traits came from and who else shared my physical features in my biological family.  Most of all, I wanted to know why I wasn’t wanted.  But life carried on, with me drowning in depression and anxiety.

“I maintained a bitter mindset, constantly resenting and blaming my adoptive family for what they had done.”

     I had always wanted to be accepted.  Who doesn’t?  It is a natural human need to find others who will accept them for who they are.  But finding out I had been lied to made it harder to trust anyone that was around me.  It was easier for my American brother, even though he was also adopted from Ekaterinburg, Russia.  He did not have the same fears that I had with people.  For me, I would establish friendships and let them fall apart because I knew that they would leave me or they did not want me just like my biological family in Russia.  I refused to let myself get to close to others and realized how vulnerable I was when I did.

  I was a mess when I would lose friends.  I did not understand the subconscious self-sabotage that I had done to destroy the relationship.  I was always told that I was “hard to deal with” or “too clingy.”  I constantly lived my life in fear that I would end up alone.  I accepted this as the truth to my life.  As I got older, I did not have many friends.  I saw everyone around me as fake.  I maintained a bitter mindset, constantly resenting and blaming my adoptive family for what they had done.  For years, I carried this burden alone.  I had been searching for answers since that day I found that tape.  I trusted no one and never had a genuine relationship where I felt that they would stay.  That is — until 2 years ago.

     I thought about my biological Russian family every single day and hoped one day we would find each other.  On Facebook, I received a message from a stranger asking if I was related to my adoptive brother.  I was hesitant to respond, but she told me that she helped him find his biological family— after reading this I must admit that I quite literally laughed out loud.  I responded to her that I had been searching for my family for years and I would be shocked if she could find them. I honestly thought it was a scam, but I played along anyway, curious to see what would happen.  First, I joined a Facebook group called “Russian Adoptees.”  Then, I gave her my Russian last name, brother’s name, birthdate, and birthplace.  In retrospect, I realize I was making a bold move.  Within two minutes, I received a message that contained a VK account and a positive note that read, “here you are.  I am positive this is your brother because he has been looking for you too.”

“I was certain it was the Sergy from the videotape all those years ago!”

  I clicked the link that showed a male that would have been my brother’s age and someone who looked just like me.  After getting in touch with him, and asking a series of questions that only my sibling would know, we Facetimed each other.  I was certain it was the Sergy from the videotape all those years ago!  My biological brother!  I even met my biological mother and finally asked her the questions that I had been saving for years.

     I am now 27 years old, and I feel like a door to that struggle has been closed.  I still have questions, but I have received so many answers that have helped change my views on my abandonment. I still keep people at an arm’s length when I first meet them, but I no longer think that they will abandon me.  I see it as an encounter that has given me insight and helps me carry on my journey in life.  Now, I believe we meet everyone for a reason.  A notion I never would have believed if I hadn’t met that person over Facebook.  There is not a day that goes by that I don’t count my blessings of just how far I have come personally, emotionally, and spiritually.  While being adopted had its problems, from it, I am able to see the world in a different way than many from behind my blue eyes.

A note from Okami & Co.

  You can imagine the amount of questions we had after reading Kat’s story.  After speaking with her a little bit more, we learned that Kat has stayed in contact with her biological family, and has grown to understand the reasoning behind the secret that her adoptive parents kept from her.  Often, we don’t see the bigger picture that everyone else sees.  Kat learned that her adoptive parents were just trying to protect her from the things that were happening back in her hometown of Russia with her mother.

  Kat is now a writer of two blogs Transcending Thoughts and Kat’s Korner.  She writes books, short stories, blogs, and poems.  Kat is currently working on a book about The Invisible String that connected her to her Russian family for all those lost years.  Born into imagination, creativity is her best friend.  Writing raw and emotional posts, she challenges others to embrace new perspectives while encouraging everyone to take this journey with her.  You can find more of her work in the links below!

Transcending Thoughts Facebook page: Www.facebook.com/theantisocialxtrovert

Transcending Thoughts Official Website: Www.naturesofthinking.blogspot.com

Kat’s Korner Facebook Page: Www.facebook.com/KatsOfficialKorner

Kat’s Korner Official website: Www.katskornerofficial.com

Instagrams: @katsofficialkorner and @theantisocialxtrovert

The Destructiveness of Overbearing Positivity in Today's Culture

“Just look on the bright side. There’s always a rainbow after the rain.”

  If I had a penny for every time I heard that or something remotely close to it, then I’d have a pretty fat wad of cash stashed away in a nest egg.  It isn’t unusual to hear positive, motivational quotes when you’re stuck in a rut.  That’s pretty much how we’re programmed as a community to respond to negative energy.  Society tells us that positive thinking is what will make the hard times easier.  I feel like we’ve been brainwashed to think that happy thoughts can somehow make you fly away from your troubles.  But this isn’t Peter Pan, and there is no Neverland.  This is real life, and real life can suck.

  I’m speaking mostly from personal experience and from my conversations with friends, families, and patients alike…  Being told that “things could be worse” or “you just need to be more positive” can actually make it worse.

  There was a study led by Joanna Wood from the University of Waterloo in Canada, where people would repeat the mantra of “I am a lovable person” sixteen times, and would then take a survey to see how they felt afterwards.  The study resulted in those with normal to high self-esteem felt better after the task, and those with low self-esteem felt worse.  Eh? How does that make any sense?

  Well, If I feel like I’m an undeserving individual trying to convince myself otherwise, I end up with me feeling even worse about myself.  It’s only because I’d think that I wasn’t normal like everyone else who had a positive outcome chanting that little mantra.  This is what happens most of the time when I try to think positively about myself or my situations.  My thoughts are engulfed with uncertainties, deficiencies, and worst-case scenarios, making it very difficult to convince myself that I am worth it.   

Read: Joanne Wood’s Positive Self Statements: Power for Some, Peril for Others study

  It’s already difficult enough to gather the courage to reach out for help when we’ve reached a breaking point.  Now just imagine reaching that point and having someone actually respond to you that it could be worse, or that your attitude is the reason that you feel this way.  IT SUCKS.  Not only have you belittled our problems and our feelings, you’ve told us that it’s our fault we feel this way.  It’s not that we want to be unhappy, it’s that we can’t even though we’ve tried.  Trust me when I say, we’ve tried.

  Just imagine that you’re fighting with your significant other, and the first five words that leave their mouth during the heat of an argument is, “you need to calm down.”  How often do you think someone calms down after being told that?  Not often at all.  Because you’re experiencing your emotion.  It’s the same concept for trying to cheer up your friends.  You may have good intentions in trying to lighten their mood, but how effective do you think it is?  Probably not very effective.

  When I first read this image on Facebook, I was happy that someone could draw this conclusion from a children’s series.  This is from Winnie the Pooh.  We all have seen the theories that every character in Winnie the Pooh represents some form of mental illness, whether it’s anxiety, OCD, ADHD, or depression.  Not all of them are as obvious as Eeyore’s depressive mood in the cartoon.

   They just show him love.  Love doesn’t have to come in the form of a pep talk to try and boost someone’s confidence.  If we didn’t have the confidence to begin with, what makes you think telling us that we don’t have it, will magically give it to us?  “Happiness is just a state of mind.”  Yes, thank you, a state of mind that I seem to have the inability to reach.

Read: Life with Generalized Anxiety

  Now hear me out, I’m not saying that being in a depressive state is good for anyone’s health, but these emotions demand to be felt, not pushed aside and left to brew for another day.  Forcing positivity down on someone that’s depressed is like trying to shine light into a black hole.  We’ve all seen the first photo of a black hole this year! No light goes into that black hole.

See? No light to be had in there. Credit: NSF

It’s okay to say that there is a brighter side. But don’t make it seem like someone is wrong for not being at that brighter side yet. Have patience with them. Be the supportive friend, but be there in the way they need you to be there.  Most of us don’t want life lessons if we aren’t readily asking for them.  Telling us that we could have it worse just belittles our feelings and makes us feel even worse about opening up in the first place.  Don’t give your friends reasons to shut themselves off if they’ve found the courage to open up.  Most of us just want a group of friends that will sit and treat us like we’re not fragile or treat us like we’re crazy for feeling the way we do.  Just show us love.

TEDxTalks: Mental Health and How it is to be Human

  If you didn’t know already, the month of May happens to be Mental Health Awareness Month.  I’ve spent a majority of my time re-watching TED talks on topics where the speaker has either dealt with a mental illness or has helped others with a mental illness.  It’s been an interesting journey for me since I’ve opened up about the things that have happened in my life.  Getting treatment for myself has only made me want to open the eyes of others who don’t understand how difficult living with a mental illness can be.

Read: Life with Generalized Anxiety - A guest post we had submitted to Sarah the Mindful Minimalist. It is about my life with generalized anxiety and how debilitating it can be when it’s at it’s worst.

Read: The Experience of Taking Psychiatric Medications - It was the last resort for me to ask for medications to help with my mood swings, anxiety, and depression. It’s been a long journey of trials and tribulations, but we’re getting there.

  What I’ve done here is pull together a few of my favorite TED talks for you to watch.  Going online and blogging about mental health to try and fight the stigma may seem like a daunting task, until you’re met with a community trying to do the same thing.  There has been so much progress in today’s society with how we treat mental illness and those who suffer from it, but it’s a slow-moving progression.  Hopefully a few of the words from these speakers resonate with you and open your eyes a bit more!

Sangu Delle: “Being honest about how we feel doesn’t make us weak - it makes us human.”

Sangu Delle witnessed the effects of opening up about having a mental illness.  He was approached by a friend who needed someone to confide in, and after knowing this, Sangu watched their friends begin to distance themselves.  Why is it that boundaries are created often when we find out that someone suffers from “being mental”?

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Eleanor Longden: “Sometimes it snows as late as May, but summer comes eventually.”

At first the voices were easy to ignore, but as they began to start giving commands and become more hostile, Eleanor opened up to a friend that told her to seek medical attention. After being diagnosed with schizophrenia and having difficulties managing her symptoms, she learned that there were more to the voices than what they were saying. Now she advocates for those who suffer from auditory hallucinations to take advantage of the voices and see if they have another meaning.

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Kevin Breel: “What you fear the most isn’t the suffering inside of you, it’s the stigma of others.”

Kevin Breel is your typical outgoing, energetic, stand-up comic that had two worlds: the one that everyone saw, and the one that he experienced behind stage.  Why is that we are so quick to send flowers and pay hospital visits to our friends who experience physical illness, but we are quick to run the other direction and place judgment when it’s a mental illness?  He encourages us as a community to stand together to help those in need, because we are stronger together.

Everland: Korea's Largest Theme Park

  It’s been so nice having warmer weather here in Korea.  I work the night shift so I haven’t grasped the concept of spring blooming until a few days ago when I walked the doggies outside while there was daylight.  This was a special treat for Sean and I. Not only have I been feeling way under the weather, but also because we finally decided to break our routine of café hunting and make our way to Everland! Click here for discounted tickets to Everland!

There’s something for everyone at Everland!

  I heard about Everland for the first time from my realtor when she took her kids there last summer.  At first, I thought it was just a water park, but when I looked it up it was more than that!  Everland has a theme park, a water park, and a zoo!  The admission fee for both Sean and I was cheaper than one Disneyland ticket!  You can get a discounted price by clicking here, saving you almost $15 on the ticket if you buy it online ahead of time!

  During our visit, we went to see the tulips in the European Adventures area of the park, and of course to check out some of the rides that they had to offer.  Every year they host a tulip garden and a rose garden.  If you want to see a large selection of flowers but aren’t willing to make your way all the way to the Taean Tulip Festival then it’s worth it to visit Everland.

Take a gander at that drop on the rollercoaster in the background!

  Everland happens to house the world’s steepest wooden rollercoaster.  It took us all day to make our way through the park to get there, but I can honestly say it was worth the hour wait in line.   It. Was. Intense.  Sean made us ride in the back so we would get the full experience of the drop at full speed and good grief… I feel like I was falling out of my seat.  You only get a seatbelt and another fitted bar across your lap.  You feel like you’re going to fall out on every drop you hit.  For a wooden rollercoaster, it’s definitely a 10/10 for me.

  The next time we visit, we’ll be visiting the water park side of Everland called Caribbean Bay, so make sure you keep a look out for that adventure!

How does it compare to Lotte World?

  I’m not going to lie, I didn’t enjoy Lotte World as much as I thought I would, so that’s probably why I haven’t written a blog about it.  Lotte World is definitely geared more toward younger children.  I’d say that Everland is more family friendly if it comes to having various ages (young children to teenagers) in your family.  I’d say that the park is definitely more aesthetically pleasing to the eye, meaning it’s better kept than Lotte World is.

  Everland is definitely something you’d want to check out during the months that are in between the extreme weather months, so spring and autumn.  Lotte World would be better for going during the extreme weather months since they have indoor attractions as well.

As far as pricing goes, you can get Lotte World tickets for 33,000 won using this link [click], and Everland tickets for 37,000 won using this link [click].

How does it compare to big corporate theme parks like Six Flags and Disney?

  I’d easily compare it to the older Disneyland.  There are definitely enjoyable rides which also include virtual reality rides.  The aesthetic of the park is broken up like it would be in Disneyland, but they’re geared more towards different areas in the world rather than cartoon towns.  Their gift stores showcase characters of the park like Disney would.  As far as Six Flags, there’s definitely no comparison in rides.

Nitty Gritty of the pros and cons of Everland

  It’s affordable ticket prices make enjoying the park so much better.  You’re not having to save up a crazy amount just to take your family out to a theme park.

  The food in the restaurants are absolutely scrumptious, and well-priced.  When we bought a two 19,000 won meals, they were well worth their price.

  There are so many snack bars around the park, that are also very affordable.  It doesn’t cost you $15 for a regular drink that’s mostly ice like it would in the states.

  There’s a zoo in the park where you can pet wild animals.  I mean, come on…

They have different galleries showcased there! We’re unsure of how often it changes, but the one we went to featured an interactive kaleidoscope art piece!

  If you drive there, the parking is free!  There’s a shuttle bus that runs from the parking lot to the entrance of the park as well, so you don’t have to walk back and forth for very long distances.

  The park has a lot of steep inclines, so going up and down with strollers and small children may not be the easiest, but there are gondolas that can take you from different places to the park so you don’t have to walk the entire length of the park if you’re just trying to get to a certain zone.

  Overall, we’d highly recommend this park for families with children, or even if you’re just a couple!