Well, damn, it’s been a minute. I always say I’ll come back to this, but honestly, I wasn’t having much luck figuring out what to post. Everything just seemed so… monotonous. I wouldn’t say things weren’t happening. We had a lot of growth as a family, myself as an individual, Maverick as a Kindergartener, etc. It just didn’t feel (sorry) worth writing entire chapters about. Everything became so muddled with redundancy.
Giving Ted Bundy but I promise to keep you alive.
Well, that’s no longer the case. I moved into a new job as a Nurse Practitioner. My career is off to a good start in a supportive clinic with great personalities and a very open/teaching vibe. I don’t feel belittled there, and I actually enjoy asking questions. My day starts and ends at the same time. I rarely stay late, and I rarely feel burnt out after leaving. I have been trying my best to leave work at work. Sometimes I do put myself down. It’s hard for me to think of myself as a clinician. It’s hard for me to accept that I can call the shots - mostly because I’m still terrified to call the shots. When I have tough days with tough patients, I leave second-guessing myself. There is no amount of UpToDate or OpenEvidence to help me get through it.
Luckily - I’m surrounded by a team that believes in me and understands what it’s like to be the new kid on the block. I’m also fortunate to have the opportunity for a residency that helps cover things that are commonly (and the more common “zebras”) seen in clinic. It’s helpful after feeling like all of the information I learned in school suddenly dropped out of my brain after passing boards.
No matter what though, it’s a learning journey on practicing medicine - people make honest mistakes - as long as we own up to them, fix them when we can, and continue to do our best… I promise not to get burnt out and tell people that castor oil in your belly button or bathing in hydrogen peroxide will detox your body. That’s why we have kidneys guys. Let’s keep practicing evidence based medicine + leave non-credentialed, unlicensed wellness influencers in the past.
OKAY LOVE YOU BYEEE.