The hardest secret we had to keep, but did we even keep it?

I hope my baby inherits my calves…

I hope my baby inherits my calves…

I’m not going to lie, the first trimester has been the roughest 3 months of my life.

We found out that we were pregnant very early on. We had hit 5 weeks the day we found out; two days before we were taking off for Mexico. I remember joking with Sean before we took the test, I’d look down at my tummy and say, “you gotta let me know if there’s something in there, I gotta know if I can drink tequila or not!” So when we found out that tequila, or any form of alcohol, was off the table, it was time to brainstorm what white lies we were going to tell everyone as to why I was not partaking in festivities. I know this sounds silly, but whenever we get together with these friends, I’m usually one of the people yelling “shots!”

Facing the Crowd

When we arrived to my sister-in-law’s villa, everyone was there. The first thing that people started asking Sean and I were about having a baby. It really blew my mind when my mother-in-law came up to me, touched my tummy, and asked, “is there something in there?” I was so shocked that I didn’t know how to respond, so I ended up trying to laugh it off and say no. Sean was approached by Justin’s mom and she asked him if I was pregnant, same response: laugh and say no. I knew that I had tipped Justin off when he poured a round of shots for everyone, and he tried to give me one and I used Madeline as an excuse to not participate. He gave me the look. The look that said, “I know you’re hiding something now.”

“Ya’ll were pretty obvious in Mexico lol.” Okay - so we didn’t do a great job, haha!

No hiding feeling crummy

I definitely tried my best to maintain a good attitude during the entire trip, but my body was taking some pretty bad hits. I was extremely tired, which I’m sure was a mix of jet lag and pregnancy, and our long layovers. I was also extremely nauseous (which I have been for the duration of the first trimester). I didn’t eat as much as I wanted to because things started to taste different already. At my sister-in-law’s wedding, I left on the early shuttle home because I just couldn’t take the nausea, and ended up throwing up. We tried to play it off like I was “way too drunk” and “way too tired” to function, but those who were really paying attention knew, and were really helpful in helping me home. I took a lot of naps during this trip, like I do every day now.

12-hour shifts are for the birds

My very least favorite thing was returning to work for a few days before I started preparing for my leave to come back to the states. Headaches, nausea, and a lot of vomiting at work. It made it difficult to work with patients, but thankfully, they were all new mothers that had just given birth and knew exactly what I was going through. I had the help of my co-workers to take the load off when it got really bad, and was sent home early because the vomiting had just become so hard. I am so thankful for the staff at Brian Allgood Army Community Hospital’s MSP ward. They were so supportive of my messiness, and I am forever grateful.

So, how did I actually hide it? Or did I even do that?

I don’t think I did a very good job at hiding it. I felt crummy my entire first trimester, and I’m sure everyone noticed. My sister-in-law told me that everyone kept asking her if I was pregnant, and she would just deny it for us. I’m sure it’s easy to hide your pregnancy if you aren’t feeling like crap 24/7, but that was not the case. We told our immediate family that we were expecting, and as of our last post, we told the world. Pretending to have drinks with friends by drinking ginger ale with limes or a fake margarita may hold you over for awhile, but not for long. Also, I constantly am rubbing my tummy because I just love knowing my babe is in there with me.

So here’s to the second trimester, and may it be easier than the first.