Hotel Roulette – 5-star hotels at 2-star prices / March 7, 2019 by Sean Sison

Living apart from my wife means that we travel often. If we’re going to spend a whole bunch of money to see each other, why not explore and treat yourself at the same time? Travelling is easy once you know where you’re going. The hardest part of travelling is figuring out where you’re going to stay.

When your pockets aren’t as deep as you’d like

Jakki and I are not rich by any means. The fact that we live separately means that we have to support two different households. Imagine having to buy 2 of everything; 2 sets of dishes, 2 sets of furniture, 2 sets of beds, and 2 different internet carriers (not to include any other household goods). That being said, there usually isn’t a lot of leeway in spending. But when we’re together, we always like to live it up and stay in the nicest places possible. We do this by playing a game called “Hotel Roulette!”

Here’s how to save money on hotels (with a catch)

This is one of my favorite games to play. Ever heard of Hotwire? (I’m not getting paid for this btw, it’s just so good that I’d like to share). It’s this app/website that vastly discounts hotels based on location and star rating. The trick is that it won’t tell you which hotel you’re going to get until after you’ve paid – AND IT IS NON-REFUNDABLE. It’s a gamble which is why we call it Hotel Roulette. If you’re certain you’re going to be staying the night in these areas, then it’s definitely worth it. PLUS there’s a way to cheat the system and figure out what hotel you would get. We’ve stayed at 5 star hotels with steep, and I mean steep, discounts.

It’s really easy to use too. First, you put your basic hotel information (location, date, how many people). Once it shows you what’s available, there’s a map. It will show you hotel’s current prices in the area and hotels with the Hotwire rate. I always choose the Hotwire rate. You can search through different areas and see the pricing available based on their star rating. I’ve used this in the US, the Philippines, and in Korea.

How to find your hotel with the Hotwire Rate

So, here’s the trick to cheating the system. Hotwire will always show you the actual price of the hotel along with the discounted price. I’ve compared it plenty of times and it’s almost dead on to what the hotel would charge you for the night. They also show you a map of nearby attractions/locations with distances from the hotel, but this feature isn’t available all the time.

I would typically just search of similarly rated hotels in the area and compare its pricing with Hotwire. If the map feature is available, I use all the mapping skills I have to triangulate where the hotel might be and search that location on Google Maps.

Boom, there you have it. Fancy hotels at discounted prices. I hope this helps you in your travels and if you have ways of saving money on travel, feel free to share!

Camino de Santiago | The Pilgrimage that changed my views on life / March 5, 2019 by Jaclyn Sison

Those who come to the Camino with a heavy heart always leave with a lighter load.

It was 10 PM and I was still scrambling trying to pack, unpack, and repack my backpack for my journey. “Do I have enough underwear? Will I really need this hat? How often am I really going to use this sunscreen? Do I really need a sleeping bag? Maybe I do, in case we have to sleep outside…” My good friend Stacy had already completed this journey before, so when he told us what to bring, I trusted him. After my journey was completed, I no longer trusted Stacy - joking, totally still trust him with my life, but I had NO use for that sleeping bag.

If you don’t already know, El Camino de Santiago is a pilgrimage completed by people of all European nationalities. The general idea is to start right from your doorstep and walk all the way to Santiago, Spain where you will be greeted by a flock of nomads who all smell just like you. All over Europe, you will find small seashell signs posted in random forest trails and city pathways. This is to show you the path to Santiago. My friends and I were up for the trek, so we packed our bags and left for Spain.

Every day of the Camino was different. We always started before sunrise just to try and beat the Spanish summer heat. We would get our water and daily cortado at our first stop with a bite to eat. We learned from day one that we shouldn’t push ourselves too much into the afternoon because you never knew when the next town was coming up or if all the albergues would be full. That was not something we were willing to risk. An albergue is a hostel; all of the ones we stayed in were safe and relatively cheap and clean. Everything during the Camino was relatively cheap because they knew that the pilgrims didn’t often carry a lot of cash for safety. Our bodies were fueled by the same food every day. We ate nothing but paella, razor clams, roasted green peppers, aquarius, and Estrella Galicia beer. I was so in love with the green peppers that I made it a mission to find a patch so I could put it on my travel blanket.

We learned a lot about each other during this trip, but we also learned a lot about ourselves. The three of us shared stories about our personal lives that we never would have otherwise. Distance seemed to be the theme of my year 2017-2018 staring in November. Any kind of distance I traveled by foot always pushed me to a stronger mentality. Being able to pick yourself up at 0500 after walking 24 miles the previous day with a pack on your back takes a lot of strength. Doing it day after day shows dedication. Every step that I took, I wanted to quit but when I looked to my fellow peligrimos (pilgrims), I dug deep and kept moving. You would see older folks plowing through the crowds, and young adults hanging out on the side of the trail. It didn’t matter how fast or slow you were going, you were always greeted with a smile and a “buen camino!”

Find you a friend that will go to the ends of the earth with you

History along the way of El Camino

There was so much history to see along El Camino. We passed by many churches, and landmarks like the photo above. That photo was taken in Muxia, where they say Saint James remains landed here on the boat of the Virgin Mary. The waters of Muxia are very rough along the rocks, so they also say that the Virgin Mary calmed the waters so their boat could land their specifically. Near the church of Muxia, there is a stone statue from the boat. There was something very calming about being in this area. The sound of the ocean waves hitting the shores and being hit with the mist was refreshing after walking as far as we did.

Our last endeavor on our backpacking journey was to reach the ends of the Earth with each other, so we made our way to Finesterre. Finisterre translates into “End of Earth”. It is the furthest Western point of Europe. It is called this because the Romans believed that this was the most western point of their large empire. When we were there, it certainly felt that way. A thick fog had rolled in where you could no longer see the horizon. It just looked like the water dropped off into the abyss. Truly a mesmerizing experience after such a spiritually awakening journey.

This is a journey that I would recommend for anyone who needs time and space to clear their head; for someone who needs to put themselves in a challenging situation and a new environment. Whether it is for a religious enlightening or a personal enlightening, it’s worth the trip. It definitely sets you out of your comfort zone, but oddly enough, makes you feel like you’re right at home. I would do it all over again if the opportunity came up to revisit the End of the World.

Kilometer ZERO! Finisterre, Spain

A well deserved sit down after reaching our destination

International Women: The Future is Female! / March 5, 2019 by Jaclyn Sison

There is nothing stronger than a woman who has had to rebuild herself

I was already completely nerve-wrecked to be attending this get together of women. When I walked through the door, I was only expecting a few ladies to be seated around a table having coffee together. I was completely stunned when the entire cafe was full of women from all over the world. My nerves were wired, but I was immediately put at ease when each of them greeted me with a smile and a we went around the room to introduce ourselves.

These ladies really were from all over the place! They were from Italy, USA, New Zealand, France, Colombia, Russia, Thailand, Vietnam, England, and South Korea! It was it’s own little mixing pot of International Women, and what a better way to celebrate Women’s History month!

There is something about women coming together and sharing their experiences, their cultures, and their stories. This large group started out with a few women chatting over coffee, and grew unintentionally into what it is now. These ladies meet at different cafes every Wednesday to share their lives and grow together.

Cosmopolitan Women located here in the little country of South Korea. It’s amazing. I couldn’t help but smile at their laughter and the way they all interacted with each other. There were those who were having serious conversations, and others that were goofing around dancing around and saying hello to everyone.

The intention is to get together whether it be sharing a cup of coffee or exploring Korea and it’s rich culture.

Thank you for having me and sharing your experience with me. I hope to see you all soon again one day! Look at the rest of their photos on their Pixieset Gallery here!

Breaking the Stigma / February 28, 2019 by Sean Sison

My wife was a very closed person when it came to her mental health. I asked on several occasions to try and go with her to one of her appointments, but to no avail. It wasn’t until recently that I’ve been able to attend her sessions at behavioral health. I’ve gone to a total of 2 different sessions from 2 different doctors, and even then, I noticed a stigma about mental health.

What struggles do you face?

In our last session, I felt as if a lot of the questions had been directed towards me. Let me clarify that when I say directed, I mean, I was asked questions about myself. Initially, it was more about how we met and how we were doing. But the question that struck me most was “what struggles do you face?”

I didn’t really pay attention to it at first. I spoke about our distance and how being 3 hours apart is extremely difficult for us, but also the best situation that we’ve ever been in. If you are unaware, my wife and I have primarily lived apart due to the military. When I say this is our best situation, it’s better than being a continent apart like we were before. I brought up my fear of her hurting herself in her sleep (It’s a side effect of her medications. She’ll have such vivid and emotional dreams that she will occasionally hurt herself by accident while she’s sleeping.) This is one of my greatest fears when I’m not there because I can’t do anything to help her. After expressing other similar concerns, he reiterated the question. “Besides logistical factors, what struggles do you face?”

I didn’t understand the question. I said that it’s all logistical, which is not what the doctor was looking for. It had to be broken down to me. My wife brought up Caregiver Burnout. He wanted to know what struggles I had since I’m the primary caregiver for my wife, and how I’ve dealt with it. If you are unfamiliar with the term, Caregiver Burnout is defined by WebMD as “a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that may be accompanied by a change in attitude -- from positive and caring to negative and unconcerned.”

The negative connotations of mental health

I was really taken back. Just because my wife has been seeking help for her mental health does not necessarily mean that it impacts us negatively. I love her. If my wife recognizes a problem where she needs to seek help, I want to be there and support her through it. It’s not a burden or troublesome to me. It’s what I want to do for her. I want her to heal and I know me being with her through these tough times helps her significantly. It not only means a lot to her, but it means the world to me. I want my wife to be happy, and her happiness is what matters most.

And now that my wife has finally opened up to me about her biggest insecurities. I can see why she has never opened up to me in the past. Just being asked about my struggles instead of keeping the focus on my wife during her session immediately implies that I will be impacted negatively due to her diagnosis. It’s such a scary thought. The term “dealing” had been used as well. I strongly feel that it is the wrong word to use. Dealing implies some sort of compromise, a give and take type of scenario. Well, this isn’t the place for that. If you really love someone, you shouldn’t have to deal with them to help them. It should be something that you want to do, selflessly and wholeheartedly.

After I expressed my feelings of love and affection for my wife, the focus went back to her. I held her hand, wiped her tears (but not the snot), and then comforted her for the remainder of the day. I was just joking about the snot btw lol. But now that my second session was complete, what did I learn?

Well, I learned that my wife fears that she is a burden just because of how the world perceives our situation. I truly hope she knows that this is not the case. It really brings to light why it’s so difficult for people to open up to their loved ones. Not only that, but to seek help. If people have this belief that the ones closest to them see them as a burden, then why would it be different for a complete stranger, such as a medical specialist, to see them as otherwise?

This is the type of mentality that has to change. If you know someone who is experiencing something similar to us, help them. It’s difficult enough opening up about how we feel to someone else, imagine what it’s like trying to express your emotional state. And if someone does open up to you, know that they trust you with all their being. Do the best you can for them and though they may not say it, know that you’re making a positive impact on their life.

Have a similar story? Feel free to share it with us.

10 Things About Being a Geo-Bachelorette / February 27, 2019 by Jaclyn Sison

I'd go anywhere with you.

Distance only makes the heart grow fonder, right? I guess this is something that I've always had to convince myself. It's harder on the nights where everyone you know is doing their own thing with their S.O. and you're at home sitting on the couch eating a pint of Halo chocolate ice cream. Unluckily, my husband and I are not going to be living together for at least another year and a half. That's the harsh reality of being a dual military couple, and having to live the life of a "geo-bachelor/bachelorette."

And although I'm accustomed to the saying that "everyone has their own battles," trust me when I say, "I don't give a damn that your S.O. travels for a week of work once in a blue moon." Especially if they're in the same state, same country, same continent, or same hemisphere for that matter. Because living this life, even though I put up with it every day, is probably the shittiest way to live a "happily" married life.

Now that I've gotten my pity party out of the way, there's at least ten things I've gained from being a geo-bachelorette... Are they legit or nah?

10. There is so much less to clean

I don't know about you, but I have the habit of walking around my house and fixing small things when they're out of place. Even if it means shoving a bunch of papers into a cabinet so the clutter is out of sight. My husband isn't that messy, but he's definitely not up to my standard of OCD clean. He tries, and I think that's the best part of having him home. Watching him show me that he tidied up with a big smile on his face... it shows me that he cares. The sad part is after he leaves from a long visit, I actually miss his mess... but just for a little bit.

9. You can watch whatever you want on Netflix

I binge Netflix like it's everybody's business, including my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, since we all share my husband's account (thanks for letting us all leech, babe!) So if I want to watch an entire season of RuPaul's Drag Race after a four day stretch of work, then by all means, I am going to watch two seasons. No longer will I have to hide in another room while my husband watches the Walking Dead!

8. You can eat things that you want to eat

My husband tends to eat the same 4 to 5 dishes in rotation when he's at home. When he asks me to guess what he's eating, I only have to guess a few different things: spam & eggs, tocino & eggs, longanisa & eggs, pizza rolls, or ramen & soft boiled eggs. My husband isn't a complicated fellow, and I know that he has a better palate than this... but I can be happy in my home, sharing healthy food with my mom.

7. Jetsetter Status - You earn a lot of air mileage

I don't think I've earned quite the amount of miles my husband has, as he's been to Europe four times this year, but I'll get there. The biggest con to this pro is that it is expensive to see each other. (There's always got to be a little bad with the good.) But when we do earn enough miles, it makes the reward a little better. Plus having such short bursts of time together, we always use that time to explore different countries. Talk about international love.

6. The small things become the most meaningful

When my husband visits and he makes me coffee before work, and gets me yogurt with the infamous "banana, granola, chia seeds, and coconut" toppings, I can almost guarantee that my ovaries go into overdrive. Because even when I snooze my alarm to soak in his warmth for the iPhone's 7-minute snooze, he takes care of those things so I don't have to. When he sits in my patient lounge and talks with them while I work, so we can have lunch together... When he leaves the scent of his cologne on my pillows after I drop him off at the airport... Okay, I'm tearing up just writing this, but you get what I mean!

5. You become very good at listening to them

I used to struggle with this a lot when we first started dating, but we have grown so much since then. Whether it be a state or an ocean that separates you, listening is the one thing you can do to guarantee a strong relationship. It builds your trust in each other, it gives you insight to how they're feeling that day, and you really get to know your partner on a different level. Of course communication is part body language, but that's why we have our handy-dandy Skype apps.

4. "One please!" - You're not uncomfortable traveling alone and eating out for one

I live for the days when I can hear my husband say "two please!" But when I'm alone, I've become comfortable going to a restaurant and sitting by myself, or just ordering out.

3. You have time to focus on yourself

This is probably the most selfish thing I have to say about being a geo-bachelorette. I have so much time to focus on all of the things that I've been wanting to accomplish. My workout routine has gotten so intense since I've moved to Germany, so not only my physical health, but my mental health has gotten a big boost here. I'm working on my second year of nursing here, and I've already gained so much experience in my career. If my husband lived here, all I would want to do is go home to be with him, but since he's not waiting for me at home with food, then I'm more open to spending time at work when I need to.

2. You learn to value each other's company

Being in the military, we can't really plan out very far ahead in advance. Tickets are a last minute buy, every time. Training, FTXs, and different programs come up and ruin our plans frequently. We've survived two deployments and one overseas tour already. So when we see each other, we make sure we try to pack in as much "things we should have been doing as a married couple" that we can. Since we've been married, we've only been together a little less than a month.

1. Every reuniting kiss feels like a first kiss

With #2 being said, every time we are reunited, it feels like we're in the honeymoon stage all over again. Honestly I don't think we ever left, but that's just me. I know there are people out there saying, "what if you hate each other when you do live together?" Well, those people obviously don't know how me and my husband are. He drives me crazy, but he's my favorite type of crazy. I'll take every "first kiss" I can get from him.

Today is definitely one of those days that I have to convince myself that being apart right now isn't as bad as it seems. I get to grow, he gets to learn his new role as an officer, and... that's it really. Because living apart really sucks. I need to think of more things to convince myself that I'll be okay.

Okami & Co.